


I'm not crazy

by MarielleThorn



Category: Original Work
Genre: Choking, F/M, Fear, Gen, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Multi, Multiple Personalities, One Night Stands, Other, Self-Hatred, Self-Reflection, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:40:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29224839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarielleThorn/pseuds/MarielleThorn
Summary: Jory can finally have some time to himself and let go. He plans to have fun, but maybe the stress they've been going through lately needs an outlet as well.
Relationships: Original Character(s)/Original Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	I'm not crazy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tommykaine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommykaine/gifts).



> So this is a background story/prequel to one of my RP's. It takes place about 8 years before my RP starts. My character has dissociative identity disorder (DID), aka multiple personalities, and has four alters/personalities; Emmett, Jory, Tristan, and Sandy. This story is about Jory. (The RP is mainly about Emmett)
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't have this disorder and I'm not a psychologist or professional at all in this subject. What I know about DID comes from reading and watching people with it talk about it. This is a fictional character and this does not represent actual DID and should not be taken as such.

Jory is so fucking sick and tired of Emmett being ”propper”. Of his fucking bedtimes and healthy, tasteless food. Of “I need to study” and “not now Jory, please.”

It's finally summer break which means Emmett has no more tests to write, no assignments to hand in, and no reason whatsoever to keep Jory from living his life. After all, with only one body to share, it's not really fair of Emmett to keep it all to himself. 

Jory hasn't fronted in weeks. It feels even longer. He's been on edge for days now. And he's so fucking ready to let loose. All he needs is for Emmett to get home and then he can push on through and take over. He can feel how tired Emmett is, how tired their body is. Moreover, how much they need an outlet. Emmett never allows himself anything fun, anything to take the edge of. But that's why Jory's there. 

The second they're inside their door Jory switches out, he pushes Emmett aside so fast they both got a headache when he's done. No matter, a few drinks will solve that. Before that though, he needs to change.

Emmett favors knitted jumpers and slacks. They're comfortable, sure, but it makes them look like a fucking shut-in. Jory takes it all off and heads into the shower. He needs to wash off the sent of books and cheap cologne. When he's done he blowdries their hair and parts it to the side, pushing half of it back and pinning it in place with some hairpins and hairspray, making a fake sidecut. He lets the rest stay in its natural half-curly waves. He spins some of it around a finger to enhance them or at least control where they go. Emmett never does that, he washes it, lets it air dry, and sure, it looks fine but too fucking boring. 

Jory is tired of walking past mirrors and getting a look at them. That's not him he's looking at and it's nice to finally take a long look at _himself_ in the mirror for ones. Of course, in their mind, in their inner world, he looks a little different but close enough that with some change of clothes and hairstyle it passes.

He takes his time picking out an outfit. It's fucking wonderful to open his own closet again and being able to just go through all his options. He ends up going with a pair of _tight_ , ripped jeans, a black, low-cut v-neck t-shirt, and some aesthetic neckless in silver.

Fuck, he looks good. It's really a shame how little Emmet knows about fashion when they have a body that can look this nice. It's a waste, all that time Emmett spends fronting and not taking advantage of it. 

He puts on some perfume and grabs his high combat boots before leaving the house at 10 pm. It'll take at least half an hour to get to the club he wants to go to but the distance is worth it. He's lucky that they live in a city with a good club scene, but it fucking sucks that they have to live so far away from it.

When he arrives and enters the club, he flirts with the doorman, then he flirts with the bartender. Then he dances. And he never ones hesitates. Someone offers to buy him a drink, he goes for it. Someone wants to make out in the bathroom. Sure. Wants to take him home? Jory makes them work for it. By the end of the night, he has five people begging for his attention and Jory goes home with two of them, roommates, a girl with hip-long hair, silk-black and smooth. Jory can't quite keep his hands out of it. The other, a man, a few years younger than him. Cute as fuck. Curly brown hair and a few freckles going over his nose. Jory has never really been all that into cute though. The only reason he likes this guy is because he doesn’t act cute. He's been assertive and bold the entire evening. So has the girl. And he can't wait to see what they'll do once they're finally alone.

He isn't disappointed. He comes three times and almost feels like he can come a forth, but by that point, they're all exhausted and collapses on the bed and fall asleep. 

Somewhere around 4 am Jory wakes up with a scream. Another one of the damned nightmares. It's been a while since he's had them. Maybe because he hasn't fronted for a while. But this one is particularly bad. Jory doesn’t see what's actually in the room when he wakes up. He sees a basement, concrete walls, and cold hard eyes staring him down.

”What the fuck man!! Let her go!” He hears some voice call to him but he can't quite make sense of it. In his mind, he's holding a knife in one hand and with the other, he's holding down a man twice his size that's half tied up to a chair trying to get free. In his mind, he doesn’t hear ”Let her go”. He hears ”Do it. Finish it, boy!” Jory doesn’t know if it's an actual memory or just a dream but he's pretty sure something like that happened one time or another. Which makes shaking out of it so much harder. 

When he does come back to, he's seated straddling the girl with both hands around her neck, squeezing hard. The man is behind him, trying to pry him off. Jory has to blink a few times more before he can make himself let go.

When he does, the girl runs to the other side of the room, coughing and grabbing her throat with tears in her eyes and the man is standing protectively in front of her ”What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Jory's still breathing heavily, looking at his hands like he’s just realizing what he did. He can almost see blood on them. He knows there isn't any, but he can _see_ it. He feels like he's back there all over again. Being forced to.. to do all those things. 

”You’re fucking crazy.” the man goes on, somewhere between angry and scared.

”Crazy?” Jory asks coldly and looks up at them.

”Get out,” the man says just as coldly, but with a hard edge to it.

”Or what? You think you can stop me from doing whatever I want? I'm twice as strong as you, I could have you down on your back and begging me to kill you just so it won’t hurt anymore in two seconds flat” He could. He really could and that's the scary part. Jory doesn’t want to hurt anyone, never did. Never had a choice! But he can, and he will if they keep looking at him like that. Like… Like he's a _monster_.

”O-out. Or I'm calling the cops.” the guy can't quite stop himself from shaking as he says it but to his credit, his eyes never waver.

Jory though, Jory _is_ shaking as he stands up and gathers his things. He dresses slowly and he can feel their eyes on him the entire time. He walks out of the apartment and hears the door shut and lock behind him. And then he hears the crying and he hates himself a little more.

He doesn’t remember how he makes it home, but he does. He feels broken, _is_ broken. So fucking broken. He just wants to have a good time. Feel good. For ones in his life. Make up for all those horrible memories he has to hold. Because Emmett isn't strong enough to. He hates him sometimes. Hates how weak he is. How pathetic and perfect he is. How he's the golden boy. The perfect student. The kind one, the sweet one, the fucking...

But it's fine. Jory is strong. He can do it. He can deal with it it. He's fine. If he just doesn’t think about it it, he's fine. As long as he focuses on keeping Emmett safe maybe he can somehow make up for all the horrible things he's done. Maybe if Emmett stays pure and perfect it will rub off on him. Maybe it will balance it out. Maybe he will have done something right. Maybe... maybe he can start forgiving himself.

And maybe pigs can fly.

**Author's Note:**

> This alter, Jory, is described as violent but he is not an "evil alter" as I know there is no such thing. He's just been through utter shit and was triggered by a bad dream and freaked out as result. He has hurt people in the past but only because his parents made him do it. It's what he's been taught to do. He doesn't want to hurt anyone.


End file.
